Here at Cuddle Labs, we believe that our knowledge of practical cuddling technique is what separates us from other cuddling theorists. We are, if you will, the world’s leading Cuddle Engineers. (We prefer to leave the more-expensive, less-soft scientific inquiry into the reason for our existence—oxytocin—in better-suited hands.) While an earlier post laid out our overarching cuddling framework, we’ve yet to tell you what the future of the site holds in store.

Magic 8-Ball Response: "Don't Count on It."

"Are you going to become a webcomic?"

In upcoming posts, Cuddle Labs will provide a great deal of “cuddling position” posts, suggesting different cuddling techniques and detailing their important features. Because Cuddle Labs is concerned with the optimization of all your physical social contact, these positions will fall into a number of categories. To find out more, read on.

Cuddling Categories
If you want to learn how to cuddle effectively, you’ll have to consider situational factors first and foremost. As an obvious example, the best way to cuddle with a partner in bed will clearly differ from the best way to touch a new acquaintance while standing. In fact, there is a much larger range than that—the best bedtime cuddle will hardly even bear resemblance to the best position for cuddling your partner on the couch. In our estimation, there are approximately four cuddling categories, with occasional shades of gray and subsections:

1) Full Cuddles. Full cuddles are the category that people most often think of when they hear the word “cuddling.” These are the laying-down, all-out, cuddling-is-all-I’m-doing-right-now positions. Classic “spooning” is an example of a full cuddle (albeit an evil one.)

2) Directional Cuddles. These are cuddles more appropriate for when both partners need to be, for whatever reason, facing in the same direction. These provide cuddling opportunities for watching a movie on the couch, when sitting side-by-side (for road-trip/subway/movie-theater applications), or whenever circumstances dictate a fixed position.

3) Quick Cuddles. These are the kinds of contact that we slip into our daily lives, usually without taking particular note of them. Handshakes, hand-holding, hugs, walking arm-in-arm, even just momentarily tapping someone as you speak with them—we consider all of these a part of this category.

4) Cuddle Puddles. These go even further than the “full cuddles,” being cuddling cabals—cute, chaotic constructs consisting of crowded constituents. Cuddle Puddles are groups of three or more cuddlers, and their proper coordination requires considerable technical expertise. (If you’ve ever thought it was hard to get comfortable while cuddling with one person, imagine getting twenty people together, all comfortable and delighted.) Cuddle Puddles are an area in which Cuddle Labs’ mastery seems particularly unrivaled at this time, and we will discuss them with a corresponding level of frequency.

Discussing specific positions within these categories is our first priority at the moment, but if Cuddle Labs’ non-positional posts were more to your liking, have no fear. While the above will make up a large percentage of our posts, we’ll continue to address the social dynamics of cuddling, report on important oxytocin findings, and remark on current cuddling events. We’ll also interview interesting cuddling cases, co-opt information from other fields (stay tuned for massage tips!) and generally just pontificate on cuddling according to our whim.

So if you want to help start the Cuddle Revolution, stay tuned!